Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Sensible or too cautious?

Am I sensible or too cautious?  That is the question I am asking myself right now.  The reason?  I found out when we arrived at the stairs for the temple and caves it was over 500 steps.  Not nice steps - nasty steep steps with not a whole lot to hang onto if anything.  I made it up the first flight (at the back of the herd)  and said nope this is not for me.  I did not want to hold anyone back was the main reason and the other - just too darn exhausting and scary for me.  I am not in the best of shape right now - carrying too much weight and I also suffer from episodic vertigo which means if I turn my head the wrong way or too quickly I can easily fall.  Not to mention I just don't enjoy climbing...Not a good combination to be sure.   Then I ask myself did I miss out on much?  Some mischevious monkeys - been there, done that, a temple - been there, done that and a cave full of skulls...definitely didn't need that.  Those that did it (two of us said no way and another one turned back) thought it was worth the trek.  I am sure it was interesting but would it have been worth the pain and stress for me - oh yeah did I mention I have arthritic knees.  (oh dear now I feel REALLY old and worn out)  I would have held up everybody and been very stressed over that. (been there, done that) 

Would losing weight help?  Of course it would - I wouldn't have been so out of breath but it wouldn't fix my head injury that caused the vertigo nor the fear of climbing.  At the age of 60 do I really want to try and "conquer" a fear of climbing?  I don't think so.  Plus there is the vertigo which is physical and will be probably hanging around for the rest of my life. 

Then I ask myself why the heck am I on these adventure tours if I can't keep up?  And then I tell myself I do enjoy what I do and try to not let it bother me that I can't climb like others do. By opting out no one was inconvenienced and to me that is more important than trying to prove a point and holding everyone up.

So in the end I did the right thing for me. I learned more about Cambodia from our guide which was very interesting and while I wish I could have wandered around the area a bit sometimes you do things in consideration of others. 

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